And Her…
DAN: I want Anna back.
LARRY: She’s made her choice.
DAN: I owe you an apology. I fell in love with her. My intention was not to make you suffer.
LARRY: So where’s the apology? You cunt.
DAN: I apologize. If you love her, you’ll let her go, so she can be happy.
LARRY: She doesn’t want to be happy.
DAN: Everybody wants to be happy.
LARRY: Depressives don’t. They want to be unhappy to confirm their depression. If they were happy, they couldn’t be depressed anymore. They’d have to go out into the world and live, which can be depressing.
DAN: Anna’s not a depressive.
LARRY: Isn’t she?
DAN: I love her.
LARRY: Boo hoo. So do I.
DAN: She’s gone back to you because she can’t bear your suffering. You don’t know who she is! You love her like a dog loves the owner.
LARRY: And the owner loves the dog for so doing.
DAN: You’ll hurt her. You’ll never forgive her.
LARRY: Of course I’ll forgive her. I have forgiven her. Without forgiveness, we’re savages. You’re drowning.
DAN: You only met her because of me.
LARRY: Yeah. Thanks.
DAN: It’s a joke. Your marriage is a joke!
LARRY: There’s a good one. She never sent the divorce papers to her lawyer. Now, to a towering romatic hero like you, I don’t doubt I am somewhat common, but I am nevertheless what she has chosen, and we must respect what the woman wants.
LARRY: If you go near her again, I swear, I will kill you.
DOCTOR (to phone): Mmm hmm? Okay.
LARRY: I have patients to see.
DAN: When she came here, do you think she enjoyed it?
LARRY: I didn’t do it to give her a nice time. I fucked her to fuck you up. A good fight is never clean. And yeah, of course she enjoyed it. As you know, she loves a guilty fuck.
DAN: You’re an animal.
LARRY: Yeah? What are you?
DAN: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram.
LARRY: Have you ever see a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Go fuck yourself. You writer! You liar!
LARRY: You go check a few facts while I get my hands dirty.
DAN: She hates your hands. She hates your simplicity.
LARRY: Listen. I spent the whole of the last week talking about you. I know all your little ways. Anna tells me you fucked her with your eyes closed. She tells me you awaked in the night crying for your mother, you mommies boy. I could go on. Shall we stop this?
LARRY: It’s over. Accept it.
LARRY: You don’t know the first thing about love because you don’t understand compromise.
LARRY: Oh, don’t cry on me.
DAN: I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.
LARRY: You want my advice? You go back to Alice.
DAN: She’d never have me. She’s vanished.
LARRY: No she hasn’t. I found her, by accident. She’s working in a club. Yes, I saw her naked. No, I did not fuck her.
DAN: You spoke to her?
DOCTOR (phone): Yes?
DOCTOR (phone): Yes, I know. One minute.
DAN: How is she?
LARRY: She loves you beyond comprehension. Your prescription is where she works. Go to her.
DAN: Thank you.
LARRY: You still pissing about on the ‘net?
DAN: Not recently.
LARRY: I wanted to kill you.
DAN: You wanted to fuck me.
LARRY: Don’t get lippy.
LARRY: I read your book, by the way.
DAN: Thanks.
DAN: You stand alone.
LARRY: With Anna. You still writing obituaries?
LARRY: Busy?
DAN: I was made editor.
LARRY: Yeah? How come?
DAN: Previous editor died. Alcohol poisoning. I sat with him for a week in the hospital.
LARRY: I really do have patients to see.
DAN: Thank you.
LARRY: For what?
DAN: Being kind.
LARRY: I am kind. Your invoice is in the post.
LARRY: Dan.
LARRY: I lied to you. I did fuck Alice. Sorry for telling you. I’m just not big enough to forgive you, buster.
E assim vem o diálogo final. Veja os papéis e voilá. Essa é MINHA VIDA.
=*
Just ME…
LARRY: Don’t move.
LARRY: I want to remember this moment forever. First time I walked through the door returning from a business trip to be greeted by my wife. I have at this moment become an adult.
LARRY: Thanks for waiting up you darling, you goddess.
LARRY: I missed you.
ANNA: How ’bout some tea, mmm?
LARRY: Jesus, I’m knackered.
ANNA: Didn’t you sleep on the plane?
LARRY: No, because the German next to me was snoring like a Messerschmitt. What’s the time?
ANNA: Uhh, about midnight.
LARRY: Time, what a trickly little fucker. My head’s in two places. My brain actually hurts.
ANNA: Do you want some food?
LARRY: No, I need a bath.
ANNA: I’ll run it for you.
LARRY: No, I… I’ll have a shower. Are you ok?
ANNA: How was the thing?
LARRY: As dermatological conferences go, it was a riot.
ANNA: How was the hotel?
LARRY: Someone told me that the beautiful people of the paranoid hotel — the concierge, the bellboys and girls, did you know this? — they’re all whores.
ANNA: Everybody knows that.
LARRY: I didn’t.
LARRY: I don’t suppose you fancy a friendly poke.
ANNA: I just had a bath.
LARRY: Well, I’ll see to myself in the el-decoration bathroom.
ANNA: You chose that bathroom.
LARRY: And every time I wash in it I feel dirty. It’s cleaner than I am. It’s got attitude. The mirror says, “Who the fuck are you?”
ANNA: You chose it.
LARRY: Doesn’t mean I like it. We shouldn’t have this.
ANNA: I hear middle class guilt.
LARRY: Working class guilt. Why are you dressed if you just had a bath?
ANNA: We needed some milk.
LARRY: You okay?
ANNA: Mmm hmm. You?
LARRY: Yeah.
LARRY: The Sultan has returned bearing gifts.
ANNA: Thank you.
ANNA: They’re beautiful.
LARRY: Here’s a thing. Alice was at the hotel.
ANNA: What?
LARRY: I saw these arty postcards in the lobby. I bought one to boost your sales. Young woman London. And, I checked for your book in the Museum of Modern Art, and it was there! Someone bought one, this guy with a ridiculous little beard. He was drooling over your photo on the inside cover. He fancies you, the geek. I was so proud of you. You’ve broken New York.
ANNA: You’re wonderful.
LARRY: Don’t ever forget it.
ANNA: Why are you dressed?
LARRY: Because I think you might be about to leave me, and I didn’t want to be wearing a dressing gown.
LARRY: I slept with someone in New York. A whore. I’m sorry.
ANNA: Why did you tell me?
LARRY: I couldn’t lie to you.
ANNA: Why not?
LARRY: Because I love you.
ANNA: It’s fine.
LARRY: Really? Why?
LARRY: Something’s wrong. Tell me.
LARRY: Are you leaving me?
LARRY: Because of this? Why?
ANNA: Dan.
LARRY: Cupid? He’s our joke.
ANNA: I love him.
LARRY: You’re seeing him now?
LARRY: Since when?
ANNA: Since my opening last year.
ANNA: I’m disgusting.
LARRY: You’re phenomenal. You’re so clever. Why did you marry me?
ANNA: I stopped seeing him. I wanted us to work.
LARRY: Why did you tell me you wanted children?
ANNA: Because I did.
LARRY: And now you want children with him?
ANNA: Yes… I don’t know.
LARRY: But… we’re happy. Aren’t we.
LARRY: You’re going to go and live with him?
ANNA: You stay here if you want.
LARRY: Oh, look. I don’t give a fuck about the spoils. You know, you did this to me the day we met. You let me hang myself for your amusement. Why didn’t you just tell me the moment I walked through the door?
ANNA: I was scared.
LARRY: You’re a coward, you spoiled bitch.
LARRY: Are you dressed ’cause you thought I might hit you?
LARRY: What do you think I am?
ANNA: I’ve been hit before.
LARRY: Not by me!
LARRY: Is he a good fuck?
ANNA: Don’t do this.
LARRY: Just answer the question. Is he good?
ANNA: Yes.
LARRY: Better than me?
ANNA: Different.
LARRY: Better?
ANNA: Gentler.
LARRY: What does that mean?
ANNA: You know what it means.
LARRY: Tell me.
ANNA: No.
LARRY: I treat you like a whore.
ANNA: Sometimes.
LARRY: Why would that be?
ANNA: I’m sorry you’re…
LARRY: Don’t say it. Don’t you fucking say “You’re too good for me.” I am, but don’t say it. You’re making the mistake of your life. You’re leaving me because you believe that you don’t deserve happiness, but you do, Anna.
LARRY: Did you have a bath because you had sex with him? So you wouldn’t smell of him. So you’d feel less guilty?
LARRY: How do you feel?
ANNA: Guilty.
LARRY: Did you ever love me?
ANNA: Yes.
LARRY: Did you do it here?
ANNA: No.
LARRY: Why not?
ANNA: Do you wish we did?
LARRY: Just tell me the truth.
ANNA: Yes, we did it here.
LARRY: Where?
ANNA: There.
LARRY: On this. We had our first fuck on this. Did you think of me?
LARRY: When? When did you do it here?
LARRY: Answer the question!
ANNA: This evening.
LARRY: Did you cum?
ANNA: Why are you doing this?
LARRY: ’cause I want to know.
ANNA: Yes I came.
LARRY: How many times?
ANNA: Twice!
LARRY: How?
ANNA: First he went down on me, and then we fucked.
LARRY: In who’s way?
ANNA: I was on top, then he fucked me from behind.
LARRY: And that’s when you came the second time.
ANNA: Why is the sex so important?
LARRY: Because I’m a fucking caveman!
LARRY: Did you touch yourself while he fucked you?
ANNA: Yes.
LARRY: You wank for him.
ANNA: Sometimes.
LARRY: And he does.
ANNA: We do everything that people who have sex do!
LARRY: You enjoy sucking him off.
ANNA: Yes!
LARRY: You like his cock.
ANNA: I love it!
LARRY: You like him cumming in your face.
ANNA: Yes!
LARRY: What does it taste like?
ANNA: It tastes like you but sweeter!
LARRY: That’s the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.
E esse é o diálogo da MINHA VIDA.
